If you haven't yet heard, not only did they rob us of having 12 planets, not only did they remove the possibility of certainty of what is and is not a planet, but now, they've even taken away Xena. (By "they", I mean of course the traditional Rich White Men.) Yes, Xena, once the 10th, I mean 9th, I mean 12th planet of the Solar System, along with her moon Gabrielle. That which would have gotten men everywhere interested in astronomy- now gone. Replaced with the goddess of chaos and strife, Eris, because the astronomers can only fight over definitions to planets and not come up with a reasonable idea. And to add insult to injury, Gabrielle the moon of Xena, also gone, now giving us Eris' daughter, Dysnomia, the spirit of lawlessness.
At least this allows for renewed job opportunities for Revisionary Source Criticism of Paul, for when he spoke of the spirit of lawlessness, he didn't actually mean antichrists or those who lead you astray. No, he was actually talking about the moon of the 3rd dwarf planet, speaking prophetically, and, in the tradition of Qur'anic proofs, showing the validity of the Bible. Yes, Paul was warning us to beware the dwarf moon, for it approaches. And by interpretive extension, may the reader understand, beware being born under this moon, for this is an inauspicious beginning. Now there are some who would argue that what Paul was actually pointing to was the coming of the antichrist at the time when Dysnomia would be discovered. For consider that it is 9 billion miles form the sun, and 9 billion miles is merely 3x3 billion miles, and 3 is 1/2 of 6, making for 3 1/2s of 3 6's. But most feel that this is a more conservative theological fringe and not to be taken as seriously as the astronomical predictions by Paul. After all, isn't astrology well affirmed in the Bible?
For those wondering about my repeated return to this theme, yes, I was going to shortly be changing the tagline of this blog to indicate that it covers my travels in America...and slightly further astray. But now- with the departure of Xena, I seem to have absolutely no more interest in astronomy.