Always ethereal, always eclectic, I write as the mood strikes, when there intrigue reveals itself. Usually that means something controversial or adventure of some sort.

I've tried really hard to be unprovocative, but have as yet been unsuccessful.

Friday, 22 February 2008

I'm Baa-aak!

Well, it worked. I lived through my first operation.

But I honestly had an expectation out of line with the statistical liklihood, probably because I've never had an operation before. Knowing that anasthesia occasionally results in death, I had a strong feeling that I would not live through the operation, and prepared my soul for that eventuality last night, as I prayed for forgiveness and the ability to forgive.

I arrived at 9 this morning, and paid half the surgery fee, and waited for my sister-in-law Trina to arrive- my ride and she who will take out my body if things go poorly. While waiting, I wrote on the left side of my face, "Not This Side". Just in case.

They took me to the back and took my blood pressure and began the preparations. I asked the doctor what the odds were that I'd have permanent loss of feeling in my lips. He told me it was higher because I was over 25, and it would be approximately 0.0015%. They put an oxygen mask on my nose and gave me an IV anaesthesia drip. (That was the part that hurt.) As it began, I told the doctor, in case things went bad, "Thank you. And if they go bad, I don't hold it against you, and I forgive you." The doctor was concerned that this was bad karma. I told him I was okay, as I know where I'm going. He told me he knew where he was going too, and it would be hot. I told him I would be hoping this would not be the case. Bit of a religious culture clash.

I felt the world progressively slowing, and recognized the drug was having an effect. Two seconds later I was getting out of the car in front of my house, sans one wisdom tooth. I have a vague recollection of being in a wheelchair. Evidently, they wheeled me out, down to Trina's car, and I was lucid, and she drove me home, and I had a conversation with Trina the entire time, and I remember none of it. Then she dropped me off and went to get me some soft food groceries to eat.

It's odd. I'm not used to being awake and having no memory of events. The most disappointing part is that for the first time in theological history I was able to clearly articulate how the doctrine of the trinity lacks any paradox when combined with Tillich's beliefs on the evolution of humanity, but both me and Trina remember none of it. What comes of losing a wisdom tooth.

In truth, I've just learned from Trina what I did say. Evidently I talked a lot about the Presidential election, and she didn't understand what I said. Actually, a lot of it was inarticulate. I tried to get up before they brought the wheelchair, and nearly fell down. I mentioned a couple times that I was Superman. And the best part- when she asked for the directions to get to my place, she couldn't understand what I said, so had me write it down. But she had to yell at me because the first time I wrote down the directions in Arabic! Sweet. Evidently my default when my higher brain functions aren't working is Arabic.

My jaw was hurting a bit after the operation, but a couple oxycodone made things wonderful again, and I've been sitting in front of the computer for the last few hours, alternately falling asleep and waking a few minutes later. Good job I didn't go into work today, or drive.

Now we're just waiting to see if feeling returns to my lips. Really need those lips. They do important things. The world would be a poorer place without my lips. So I've been told.

No comments: